Lowes Line
Posted
10/24/25

 




 
Nebraska Preview and Prediction
 

By The Lowes Line Staff


Matchup: Northwestern Wildcats (5-2, 3-1) at Nebraska Cornhuskers (5-2, 2-2)
Location:  Memorial Stadium, Lincoln, NE
Date: Saturday, October 25, 2025, 11:00 am CDT
TV: FS1
Line: Nebraska (-7.5), o/u: 44.5
 
Outlook:  I'm sure most of the loyal readers of the Lowes Line enjoyed last week's literary tour de force that combined a little football analysis with a lot of cinematic analysis.  And while it was certainly an entertaining read, it creates a problem, a big problem.  And that is having to follow such an exposition with the next Line.  This is what is known as being born under a bad sign.

But in all of that eloquence, last week's line left this Line Staffer a wee glimmer of hope, an opportunity, one perhaps narrower than the holes through which NU lead running back Caleb Komolafe slips through, but a sliver of daylight nonetheless.  And that is treating "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" as some sort of theatrical masterpiece and promising 3,500 words on the movie that pokes fun at PoT. 

The issue is, I don't need 3,500 words to prove that PoT is a bit player in the Robin Hood Pantheon, a speed bump if you will on the way to the true paragon of the Nottingham (ahem, Rottingham) cinematic universe:  "Robin Hood: Men In Tights".  I need only one sentence:

"Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak in an English accent."

Boom!  Game over.  Checkmate.  Thank you for coming, and be safe driving home!

Here we are in Week 8 and there is, shockingly, still meaningful football to discuss and analyze.  True to the prediction last week, the Wildcats beat Purdue and covered the spread.  Perhaps a little surprising is that NU managed to pitch a shutout against the Boilermakers, winning 19-0.  NU kept Purdue off the scoreboard by winning the turnover battle (though, at 3-2, did anyone really win this?), got off the field with regularity on 3rd down and especially on 4th down (Purdue 0-3), and kept Purdue's offense on the sideline more than half the game, winning the time off possession battle handily.  Time of possession can be a misleading statistic, since it matters what you do with the ball when you have it, but NU scored 2 touchdowns and kicked 2 fieldgoals, and Purdue never drew blood.  However, if NU is to have any chance against Nebraska, it has to do better than score more than 1 point every 2 minutes of possession.  Significantly increasing efficiency when we have the ball is key to upsetting the Huskers.

More proof that PoT isn't fit to hold MiT's jock:  the great ensemble cast.  Yes, PoT has strength in Morgan "I could narrate the Yellow Pages and people would watch" Freeman, Christian Slater, and the always great Alan Rickman.  Mary Elizabeth Masterantonio shines as Maid Marian, but even she cannot save PoT in this contest.  For all of those movie greats, I raise Cary Elwes (an actual dashing and swashbuckling Robin), Amy Yasback as Maid Marian (complete with the subplot of her "Everlast" bikini chastity belt and all of the double entendres about finding the key to the "greatest treasure in all the land"), Isaac "Chef" Hayes, Richard Lewis at height of his neurotic superpowers as Prince John, Roger Rees as the grammatically challenged Sheriff of Rottingham, a very young Dave Chapelle in his movie debut, and Patrick Stewart with the cameo as King Richard.  Thrown in a cameo by Mel Brooks himself as Rabbi Tuckman, and you have a recipe for cinematic greatness.

The Wildcats next visit Memorial Stadium in Lincoln to take on the team representing Nowledge.  The Huskers come into this game without any momentum, having laid a stinker up in Minneapolis last Friday night, losing to a decent but not spectacular Minnesota squad 24-6.  The problems for Nebraska started up front, with the offensive line surrendering 9 sacks of Dylan Raiola.  Raiola is a dual-threat quarterback, the kind that traditionally gives NU fits on the defensive side of the ball.  Raiola has run the ball 40 times, though his rushing totals are in the negative (see, sacks, 9).  Still, he is a threat to pull the ball down and run it, so NU's defense has to keep on its toes.  Nebraska's leading rusher is Emmett Johnson, boasting a gaudy 6.0 yard per carry average.  Nebraska is averaging about 36 points per game on offense, while surrendering 19 on defense.  Their offensive average is aided by two lopsided games against vastly inferior non-conference opponents (one being FCS Houston Christian), so the difference is much closer than it would seem. 

A "terrific" Bryan Adams song?  Gag.  That song is so cheesy that it could cover all the macaroni Kraft produces for at least a decade.  "We Are Men In Tights"...now THERE'S a song.  You just can't top a song that concludes with the lyrics, "We're butch!"

And before we get to the analysis of how NU matches up to UNL, a side note about how Mel Brooks convinces great female comedic actors to sit in the makeup chair and emerge looking like old time horror show characters.  First, the great Cloris Leachman emerged as Frau Blucher (cue horses neighing).  And, in the case of MiT, it was Tracy Ullman who morphed into the LSD version of Frau Blucher, Latrine.  At least she changed her name, from "Shithouse".

So how does the game go Saturday?  With Matt Rhule being one of the leading candidates for the newly vacant Penn State job, there are two ways things can go for Nebraska.  Either they will surrender, thinking the season is lost since their coach will leave anyway (which is what appeared to occur against Minnesota).  Or, they will try to rally around their coach to try to get Nebraska bowl eligible and encourage Matt Rhule to stick around.  But will winning the game make Rhule stay?  Or will it actually make Rhule a more attractive candidate.  After all, losing to Northwestern at home doesn't bode well for Penn State coaches.  Just ask Keegan Michael Key's doppelganger, James Franklin.

Unfortunately, I think the bad performance against the Gophers was an aberration and I expect Nebraska will fix at least some of the offensive line play issues that resulted in 9 sacks.  Raiola will have a better game, and Johnson will eclipse the 100 yard mark.  Nebraska's defense may not achieve "black shirts" status, but they'll do enough to keep NU out of the end zone, despite Komolafe's best efforts.  Preston Stone will have good moments but sadly balance those with negative plays, offsetting each touchdown pass with a pick.  Overall, NU won't be as successful at getting Nebraska off the field o 3rd down as they were against Purdue and the offense will put the defense in some tough spots with turnovers.

Just a few more quick hitters that solidify MiT's status as far superior to PoT:
  • The sight gag with Prince John's mole moving all around his face.
  • History lessons:  we know that commodes in the UK are called "Johns" because Prince John stunk to high heaven.
  • Ahchoo's Reebok Pump shoes.  My guess is that most of the devoted readership of the Line remembers the Reebok Pump but doesn't want to admit to being that old.
  • While it took 59+ minutes for Costner to finally shoot an arrow in PoT, it took Elwes only 10% of that time to fire 6 arrows...at once.
  • Cary Elwes's almost demonic expression during the fight sequence when he saves Ahchoo.
  • Roger Rees's word salads of sentences.

In order to ensure I fulfill last week's promised 3,500 words, I will leave you with the following:








(three pictures...3,000 words.)

Pick: NU keeps the game close, but can't get the all-important go-ahead score. UNL 24, Northwestern 21. Cornhuskers win, but don't cover.
 
Season to date: 6-1 ATS, 4-3 SU




The
Lowes Line is an e-mailed description of NU's next football game, with an invariably fearless prediction of the outcome and how NU will fare against what the other "experts" predict.  Our good friend and Brother Marcus Lowes began the broadcast mailing in 1996.  The crack Lowes Line Staff (alumni Lone Star Cat, GallopingGrapes, P.S. O'Briant, Eric Cockerill, Joel Kanvik, Charlie Simon, and MO'Cats) have continued the Line in memory of Marcus.  For the 2025 season it has returned to HailToPurple.com, for anyone to enjoy.  Thanks to the gridiron brain trust at the Lowes Line!