Lowes Line
Posted
10/17/25

 



 
Purdue Preview and Prediction
 

By The Lowes Line Staff




Matchup: Purdue Boilermakers (2-4, 0-3) at Northwestern Wildcats (4-2, 2-1)
Location:  Northwestern Medicine Field at Martin Stadium, Evanston, IL
Date: Saturday, October 18, 2025, 2:00 pm CDT
TV: BTN
Line: Northwestern (-2.5), o/u: 47
 
Outlook:  Are the Northwestern Wildcats a good football team? All I know is that we’re actually watching their games in October, which was unexpected. But are they good? Maybe don’t try to answer that by watching the Tulane game. Now that they’re 4-2, doesn’t that indicate some base level of goodness? Let’s put it this way, nobody’s betting their paycheck on the Wildcats any given week. Then again, they showed up in a loss to Oregon, took care of business against ULM and UCLA, and got Jimmy Franklin fired last week. That must mean they could be good? They are favored this week at home against Purdue, but it’s still hard to see a 6th win in the remaining schedule to gain bowl eligibility. Thus, the question remains. Are the Northwestern WIldcats good?

Most (all?) of the other Lowes Line writing staff might attempt to answer this question by evaluating the QB, Preston Stone (see, I can name a player!), or the RBs and WRs who have emerged over the last few games (but I can name only 1 player). Or the defense, which has kept the team in games. Or the lack of penalties and turnovers. Lots of, you know, football stuff. But I see a different parallel. To me, the question “Is Northwestern a good team” is just as challenging and important a question as “Is ‘Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves’ a good movie?” Let’s answer these thematically identical questions together, right now.

First of all, I’m no film critic. Years ago, perhaps, I appreciated the cinematic arts. But then I had kids. Now, I don’t rate or rank movies with stars or thumbs, etc. I’m not some fart-sniffing connoisseur that speaks of “film” or pronounces the word “movie” like it has 3 o’s. These days, it’s the binary system. Is it good? Or is it not good? No sliding scales. Basically, if I’m on my couch watching it and I need to get up to take a dump, am I hitting pause or just coming back to it not caring about the 20 minutes I just missed? Do the Wildcats, and Kevin Costner’s rootin’ tootin’ arrow shootin’ epic, earn the pause button? Conveniently enough, I’m watching Prince of Thieves right now on a plane, so let’s dive in. 

  • To the extent this mooovie is a morality play, it gets right into the dirt. Glad to see this story clearly establishes who were the good guys and who were the bad guys in the Crusades. Costner looks like he was in a FedEx plane crash. Not sure if that makes Morgan Freeman the volleyball, or two walls from an old shitter.
  • Brian Blessed! Forgot Prince Vultan himself was in this. What a cameo. Too bad he goes out like a bitch to a bunch of English Klan members right at the beginning.
  • Speaking of which, we’re once again clearly defining the bad guys by putting them in white sheets and hoods and Eyes Wide Shut masks. I especially love the great Alan Rickman’s reveal as the Sheriff of Nottingham. Much more menacing than the fat wolf in Disney’s version.
  • “No man controls my destiny, especially not one who attacks downwind and stinks of garlic.” Carved into my tombstone, probably.
  • There is a disturbing amount of satanic occultism framed by religious ecumenicalism between a pre- Reformation English Crusader and a Saracen played by the same guy who eventually played the Almighty Himself. Again, appreciate the lack of grey area between heroes and villains. 
  • Christian Slater - he’s not in the same movie as anybody else. The unappreciated MVP of the movie.
  • “I’m going to cut your heart out with a spoon!” “Cousin, why a spoon?” “Because it’s dull you twit, it will hurt more!” Kinda like the NU offense.
  • Uh, it takes 59+ minutes of screen time before Robin Hood shoots an arrow. But it’s worth it because Christian Slater is the first one to get shot, right through his stupid hand. He’s amazing. Pretty sure that was a real arrow, not a special effect. Slater is a notorious method actor.
  • Once Costner starts shootin’ off arrows, he doesn’t stop. Feels like merry old England needed to implement common sense bow and arrow control.
  • This movie is objectively funny. The secret is to watch it as a comedy. At least half the cast knows it’s a comedy, and they are killing it. The other half of the cast that remains unaware that it’s a comedy are just as funny. Kevin Costner is just a little too focused on keeping this historically accurate to the real Robin Hood, who did not actually exist by the way, but don’t tell Kevin Coster who is honoring Robin Hood’s memory.
  • Rickman drops at least one banger of a one-liner in every scene. “And call off Christmas!” Also the later callback line “Well, at least I didn’t use a spoon.”
  • Mary Elizabeth Mastrontoniolini is excellent. Legendary 90s movie babe. Every bit as good as the lady fox in the Disney version.
  • I’ll bet it was funny every time on set when Morgan Freeman yelled “Christian” at Costner, but Slater kept saying “What?” I guarantee you this is the most fun Morgan Freeman ever had making a movie. He actually cracks up a couple of times in the background.
  • I just had to get up and fight my way to the back of the plane for a little “comfort time.” I totally paused the movie.
  • This movie spawned a terrific Bryan Adams song and video, but the most disappointing part of the movie is that the song itself isn’t plopped right into the middle of it. It would have been gloriously out of place, especially if it was just the full MTV video with no transition. Total cowardice by the filmmakers not to put it in there. I should be in Hollywood making movies. I have great ideas about how other people should do their jobs. Just like a talking pinhead on MSNBC come to think of it.
  • People who criticize Costner’s accent, or lack thereof, are missing the point. He and Christian Slater are doing a bit. It’s basically a 90s white guy Key & Peele sketch.
  • Huge dramatic scene when the Celts attack the forest village. Big hero shots for Costner, and once again we know with certainty who the evil guys are. The Scots. They’re obviously evil. It’s in the bible.
  • Will Scarlett hates Robin Hood so much that he refuses to use a bow, but rather takes on the Celts with a tiny knife. Not a great warrior, but I’ll bet he could have talked his way out of the Sheriff’s dungeon just by doing Col. Jessup’s monologue from A Few Good Men.
  • Speaking of which, another clue that this is an intentional comedy is Morgan Freeman’s comically large sword (or, scimitar for you cosplaying medieval warrior nerds). True story – a few years later when Mel Gibson made Braveheart, he told the costume/prop crew that his sword had to be at least 35% bigger than Morgan Freeman’s scimitar in Prince of Thieves. In reality, they both would have cut their wieners off if they tried to swing those suckers in a real battle. At least that’s what a cosplaying medieval warrior nerd told me.
  • Waterworld had a stunt show at Seaworld for 25 years. How has Prince of Thieves not had a stunt show? Heck, I’ll bet you could repurpose an old Medieval Times restaurant as a Robin Hood Prince of Thieves dinner show and make a fortune. This Line is the first round of fundraising. I am not a professional investment advisor.
  • Alan Rickman is so awesome in this movie that I’ll bet Maid Marian was kinda hoping Robin didn’t show up to “rescue” her from her wedding.
  • The end of this movie is insane and amazing. Christian Slater drops an f-bomb. Rickman turns it up to 14 in a complete tour de force. Two hours of foreshadowing the amazing battle skills of Morgan Freeman’s Azeem totally pays off when he fights a 95-year-old homeless lady (sorry, unhoused lady), almost loses, but finally throws his giant sword into her. Costner finally realizes he’s in a comedy, but a little too late. We have a good priest fight a bad priest, finally blurring the clearly defined characterizations of good and evil. Typical English proto-Protestantism.
  • And then, the greatest cameo in film history. Sean Connery swoops in to c-block Robin Hood, but surprise he’s just being cool. That’s the Nottingham way, and that’s how you get Robin Hood.
  • Further evidence of this movie’s greatness is that it got the full Mel Brooks treatment in “Men In Tights.” Next week, a 3,500 word essay on why that is Mel’s most underappreciated classic.
  • It seems to be generally accepted that Waterworld is Costner’s best movie, but I think there can be no doubt that Prince of Thieves is his Citizen Kane and his Pieta.
  • Final word goes to Alan Rickman. You could disagree with everything in this long commentary (you would be wrong), but nobody can deny that this is Rickman’s finest contribution to human culture. Ranking Rickman’s greatest bad guy roles:
  1. George (the Sheriff’s name is George), Robin Hood Prince of Thieves
  2. Hans Gruber, Die Hard
  3. Marston, Quigley Down Under
  4. Harry, Love Actually
  5. Secretly Harry Potter’s real dad, Harry Potter Movies

There you have it. Is “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” a good movie? Yes, it is objectively amazing. It’s the 2000 Northwestern Wildcats of movies. Definitively in my all time top 10, and should be in yours also.

Oh, is this year’s Northwestern football team good? Sure. They’re 4-2 and favored over Purdue. Pause the game during your bathroom time.

Pick: It’s Willie, Prince of Wildcats! NU 34, Purdue 24. NU wins and covers.
 
Season to date: 5-1 ATS, 3-3 SU





The Lowes Line is an e-mailed description of NU's next football game, with an invariably fearless prediction of the outcome and how NU will fare against what the other "experts" predict.  Our good friend and Brother Marcus Lowes began the broadcast mailing in 1996.  The crack Lowes Line Staff (alumni Lone Star Cat, GallopingGrapes, P.S. O'Briant, Eric Cockerill, Joel Kanvik, Charlie Simon, and MO'Cats) have continued the Line in memory of Marcus.  For the 2025 season it has returned to HailToPurple.com, for anyone to enjoy.  Thanks to the gridiron brain trust at the Lowes Line!